Thursday, August 26, 2010
BAD NEWS, EVERYBODY
The wars are getting worse. I know this because we just bought 16 billion dollars worth of fighter jets. We need them to fight the terrorists who hate us and our freedom. Fighter jets are especially effective against roadside bombs and suicide bombers. These fighter jets will probably cost closer to 30 billion dollars because we had to borrow the money to buy them. I had a plan to spend the 30 billion dollars feeding, clothing, and sheltering the afghan civilians, and also by the way how about all the Canadian civilians too !? What a crazy idea, shut up old man ! That's what the kids tell me. They love the video games eh ! I'm a preacher now ! Listen to the preacher on the soupbox ! I'll wash everybody's feet and also their mouths with soup. Don't panic anybody, I just want to tell you I'm alarmed about this. Probably what happened is that I don't understand the situation clearly, and the actual facts are SNAFU.
Friday, August 13, 2010
And let's say we own the Iraqi oil fields ? Do we open all the spigots and flood the market ? No way ! That would hurt our friends, the Saudis.
The Saudis lawyer, James Baker III, has an office in the White House ! No joke ! Help us, James ! Get Obama in on this plan. Afghanistan is now part of Alberta ! Yes I am from Alberta, I'm from Grande Prairie. Also I lived in Red Deer for a number of years, some of the finest in my life ! Alberta RULES !!!! ! !!!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Monday, August 2, 2010
Help, police ! Canadians have been robbed by a group of burglars and scoundrels ! Everybody already knows who it was, but they're still out walking the streets ! They're planning to steal more money ! They go by the name of the Conservative Party of Canada ! Stop them, police ! If I see Brian Mulroney I will place him under Citizens Arrest according to Section 494 of the Canadian Criminal Code. What ? His manner of stealing isn't considered illegal ? Oh sorry everybody. I goofed again.